I am a geek so this didn’t come naturally to me…
Growing up, I liked Star Wars, played video games (Tie-Fighter, Jedi Knight, Goldeneye, Half-Life…), and made model airplanes. Yes, I am a geek. Even today, I love video games so much I currently own a Wii U, XBox and PS4. In middle-school when I had severe acne and braces, some kids already had girlfriends. In highschool I never got my first kiss until I was 18. I was an idiot when it came to dating.
Through a painful process of trial and error, I finally discovered what it took to actually get a girlfriend. Please note that the below steps are only a summary of what I experienced, I could write a whole article on each of them.
Step 1: Look Better, Dress Better
Most guys really overlook this step. You do not need a rockin’ bod’, you just need to look decent. Here are a few tips:
- Shave your face, brush your teeth, shower, and style your hair everyday (Personal Hygiene is an absolute must)
- Always keep a clean haircut
- Wear collard fitted shirts
- Wear fitted jeans
- Have a goatee (seriously, I do not care how good you think you look, most women actually hate it)
- Have a pony-tail or long hair
- Wear any sort of hat indoors (Especially a Fedora, better yet, avoid hats altogether)
- Wear baggy clothing
- Wear sunglasses indoors
- Wear a trenchcoat
- Wear socks and sandles
If you are unsure whether you look good with facial hair, shave it! Only certain faces look good with facial hair, chances are, yours does not. I could dive deep into the topic but this is just a shortlist.
Step 2: Learn to Talk to Women
Better yet, improve your social skills altogether. Everyone always likes to hide behind the, “oh I’m shy” shtick, but that does not make you interesting nor special.
In college, I made it a point to organize study groups in an effort to talk to women. With this goal in mind I made sure to take the following courses that I knew were filled with girls (Computer Science is a total sausage fest BTW). These courses included:
- Calculus 1 (For Biology Majors)
- Nutrition and Kinesiology
- English Literature 101
- Social Studies 101
Outside of college, I took a lot of internships at tech companies. Surprisingly, I met a lot of girls there. Whenever my friends invited me out to a party or pub crawl, I always went.
My point is, find opportunities to interact with women in a social setting. I’ll dive deeper into the topic of “where to meet women” later.
Step 3: Go on as many dates as possible – The Dating Algorithm
You must be thinking, how do I even get these dates in the first place? Well here’s how I did it:
- I signed up for OKCupid
- I made sure I had a well-written profile and photos that made me look good
- I speed-read multiple profiles and sent 2-3 sentence openers to 20-30 women 2 days out of every week (See: How to message a girl on OKCupid)
- As a note, I got pretty good at it and spent like 15 minutes tops on doing this
- I found that for every 20-30 messages I sent, 5 would respond, 3 I would go out with
- For first dates, I went to dinner after work at a restaurant that had a 3.5+ rating on Yelp
- For second and third dates, anything from, mini-golf, improv shows to rock climbing works (depending on the girl)
(Pro-Tip: For choosing good pictures, I used an instagram filter and used HotOrNot to rate my photos, those that got a rating of 8 or higher made the cut)
Step 4: Invite her back to your place for Dinner and a Movie
This is really straight forward, after like 3-4 dates, she is most likely interested in you. Invite her back to your place for a dinner and movie.
It helps if you:
- Live by yourself
- Know how to cook at least one dish (if not take a recipe and practice it a few times until it is edible)
- Clean up (especially the bathroom and bedroom)
After dinner, put on a movie, share a blanket and kiss her before it ends (afterwards works too but you really do not have to finish the movie).
If you didn’t mess up and she wants to see you again, she’s most likely going to become your girlfriend.
If it does not work out, don’t beat yourself up, repeat step 3 again. Remember, if she really likes you, you don’t have to worry about messing up, it will just happen.
It’s difficult at first but it will come more naturally with experience…
Look, I have glossed over some very important details and by no means should you use this article alone. In the coming weeks, I will dive deeper into each of these steps.